Tone requirements:
Deadpan. Understated. No winking.
Never “isn’t he cute.” Always “this seems like an operational issue.”
Phase goals:
Phase 1: intrigue + audience
Phase 2: mythology + identity
Phase 3: community + merch + donations
Approved terminology
• “Unit” (Gary, Pico, suspected others)
• “Field report” (post format)
• “Threat level” (comedic seriousness)
• “Recommendation” (snack security guidance)
LAST UPDATED: 1998-08-23 (LOCAL TIME)